Sewn
by CatsGloriousCats
Summary: When Loki returns to Asgard he has to face up to his crimes, but just how Odin will punish him? Self-harm warning
1. Chapter 1

He had finally given up. Given up running, given up trying to live up to his brother and to prove to his "father" he was worth something, but most of all given up trying to survive.

Loki kept his eyes down, only looking at the ground beneath him. He didn't have the courage to look up the the team of mortals that had beaten him, and he surly didn't have the courage to face his brother. He imagined his brother was furious at him by now. But why did he care anymore? Thor wasn't really his brother, and Thor probably didn't want him as his brother anymore.

Loki realized they had stopped walking, and he took one small look up. His eyes were full of sorrow, but more than that they were filled with defeat. He looked down, but quickly looked up at his brother. Loki couldn't read Thor's emotions. There was a mix of sorrow, hate, and anguish. Thor then, with the help of the Tesseract, returns Loki and himself to Asgard. Loki was finally going home.

He didn't dare look from the floor, just the same as he did in Midgard. He only heard the scoffs and remarks people made as him and his brother walked though the exquisite halls of Asgard. He noticed his brother was walking slower than he usually would. Loki did not know if it was punishment for him to see how many people made remarks about him, or if his brother was truly puzzled.

The two came to a sudden halt and Loki saw the large doors leading to the Throne Room. That's when Loki finally remembered how much he hated them, all of them. Painful memories of years of being cased aside for his brother came to his mind. He let off a low snarl, but no sound escaped his bound lips. He closed his eyes once again and laughed to himself, following his brother into the large room where Odin sit. He had been expecting him.

The all-father looked to Thor and his voice rumbled out, "Thor, you have returned." His gaze then turned to Loki and he said nothing, he only had the same stone cold expression that he usually had.  
Loki wanted to yell out, scream at Odin and tell him to get rid of him already. But he could only stand there, hands chained behind his back and his feet chained together only allowing him to walk. Those things he could handle, but the muzzle. He hated the damn thing. How much he wanted to curse and tell Odin and Thor how much he hated them. The three of them stood there in silence, Loki glaring at Odin with fury in his eyes, and Odin only returning his stone cold look. Finally Thor broke the silence.

"Father-" He started, and after a short silence he continued, "I know what you are thinking, but I wish to keep Loki on Asgard. Alive."

Loki's eyes shot up to Thor's. First he didn't believe what he was hearing and then he returned to his aggravated state. He wished no pity from his brother, his idiot brother. When Thor looked back he only glared at him and went back to looking down at the floor.

The all-father sighed, almost patently and said, "I was not thinking of killing him, I could not do that to my own son."

Loki snarled at the word, he was not Odin's son. He was Odin's prisoner.

Ignoring Loki's visual display of annoyance and continued, "But I was planning on banishing him to another realm...But because you want him to stay I shall think of a proper punishment."

Thor smiled and replied to his father, "Thank you, father." He trailed off but then followed up with, "If it isn't too much to ask, could Loki keep his powers aswell?"

The all-father sighed and smiled. Knowing Thor only wanted well for his brother. He nodded in approval and motioned for them to leave. "I will think about my plan of action over tonights feast and the gathering. I will have an answer before we retire for the night."

Loki was furious. He didn't want his brother standing up for him, and he didn't want to be imprisoned on Asgard once again. But at the same time he was thankful his brother wanted him to keep his life.

Loki could only sit and watch and his brother feasted with his parents and friends, they were were laughing and chatting of the past events. They practically acted like he wasn't there. Not that he minded, it let him roam his own mind. But, to Loki's surprise Thor looked over to the corner where Loki resides and gave him an occasional nod or a reassuring smile. This only angered Loki more. How he wanted to claw Thor's bright blue eyes out of his skull.

Where Loki sat soon started to reek of blood, but nobody payed attention to it. First the cuffs only scratched his wrists and ankles, but now they were creating large gashes and cuts. Blood was steadily flowing down his hands and feet, but his cloak hid this. His mouth was now also bleeding, and some of the blood was running down his face. He didn't mind this either. Loki closed his eyes and took a steady breath in. He had forgotten how sweet the air was here, and how easy it was to breathe. He sat there searching his own thoughts for an hour or so until he felt himself being lifted up. He quickly opened his eyes and saw Thor trying to get him to stand up. He only gave Thor a menacing look before struggling to his feet. He took a few steps to where everyone else was walking until he heard his brother say something.

"Loki, you're bleeding." He whispered, looking at his brother with pure sorrow filling his eyes. Loki turned around to see that where he sat was now a small mess of blood. He shrugged and started walking to the others again until he was stopped by Thor.

"Why didn't you do anything, or tell someone?" Thor questioned only to have Loki reply with something that seemed to be a sneer. Loki looked to the muzzle and walked away, not being interrupted by his brother again.

Walking proved to become more and more difficult for Loki. His ankles were in a massive amount of pain, and with every step the metal dug deeper into his exposed tissue. He began to slow down until the others were much farther ahead of him. He tried his best to keep up with them to no avail. He felt himself begin to slip away, his vision becomming surrounded in black. He slowly fell to the ground and his vision went completly black.

He soon awoke in the healing room, with his brother and mother by his side. He realized his muzzle was gone and licked his lips a few times before sitting up, but he quickly sat back down. There was a large pounding in his head that he wished would just go away- he also wished his brother and mother would go away.

"You shouldn't sit up yet, you've lost alot of blood." Frigga said compassionetly. "Your brother has been very worried about you."

Loki looked to Frigga, then Thor. He turned away and tried to talk, his voice only making a shrill raspy sound before he coughed. He then tried again, and suscessfully said, "He is not my brother."

Just then Odin came in to the room, looking at his wife and son, then looking at Loki. "I have decided Loki's punishment for his crimes" He said in a very stern voice. Thor looked to his father and Frigga just looked down, hoping it would not be to harsh. "Loki shall have his mouth sewn shut, so he can never influance or tell others lies again...But Loki can choose who he wishes to do the sewing."

Loki shot up out of his bed, but then quickly fell to she ground, the pounding in his head continuing. He sat in silence for a few minutes, everyone staring at him. Thor had horror written on his face, and Frigga sat trembeling.

"I wish for Thor to do it." Loki said, his voice cracking with every word.

Thor looked to Loki with disbelieif, "But, you're my brother. I could never do that to you."

"But It's my wish, and Odin said whoever I like." Loki said, his voice now becomming strong.

"Do as Loki wishes, Thor." Odin commented while taking out some heavy thread and a large needle.

Loki could feel fear creeping into him, at the sight of how large the needle was. He turned to Frigga who only coninuted to tremble. Loki could not think of what it would be like not being able to talk, he hated being in the muzzle, so he could only imagine what his lips being sewn together would be like.

Odin instructed Loki to lay down, and he told Frigga to keep his head in place, for he could not help pulling away from the pain. He handed Thor the thread and needle and he asked Loki if he had anything to say.

"I hate you, I have all of you." Loki said calmly, preparing himself for the pain he was about to experiance.

Thor strung the needle and held it up to Loki's bottom lip hesitiently. After a few moments Loki was ingulfed with pain. The needle going though his skin was red hot, and the thick string streached the hole, causing even more discomfort. He arched his back and held onto the sheets to keep himself from screaming as Thor coninued sewing his brothers mouth. Soon Loki's face was a mess of tears and blood. The pain was much worse than he had imagined it would be. Thor finished sewing and tied the end of the string with the help of a nurse. She inspected the stiches before nodding and leaving the room. Thor backed away slowly, panic and horror struck.

"I am sorry...brother." Thor finally said, his voice low and rugged.

Loki tried to reply, but as he opened his mouth the string ripped his flesh. He had finally been silenced.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki staggered to his feet when the nurse was gone checking his newly sewn lips in fine condition. His "father" had shown no emotion, not a single ounce of regret. Now his mother was another story. She was silently sobbing while the sewing was done, and when she saw him she had to run out of the room. Thor was obviously filled with regret. This is what Loki had planned. He wanted to make his brother suffer just as he did all those years.

His breathing was abnormal and short, and he was having trouble walking, but that didn't stop him from making the long commute to his room. He was about there when he fell to the floor. He remained continuous but he was weak. Sitting in the dark hallway, he brought his hand up to his mouth. All he felt was cold, dried blood along with new blood seeping though his mouth. When he went to feel the string he found it was a thick, rough and made of leather. There would be no way he could cut the strings.

That's when his stomach dropped. He wouldn't be able to talk, to laugh, to scoff, even eat. He was a prisoner to his own thoughts now. He had always been quiet...but not like this.

That's when he realized someone was coming down the hallway, he quickly scrambled to his feet and hurried to his room as fast as he could. His body aching with every step- his mouth burning with every gasp of air that was trying to enter his lungs.

He had finally reached his room, the same familiar sight of scattered books, his large green bed with fur lining, and the large, open windows engulfing his room with moonlight. Collapsing onto his bed he began to heal his raw wounds scattered on his arms and legs. Although he was weak he was able to summon some power to close his gashes and stop the bleeding. Realizing he was still in the bloody, stained attire he returned to Asgard in he wandered over to where his clothes are and picked something alittle more comfortable- preferably something that wouldn't rub against his wounds.

Just as Loki was painfully taking his chest armor and shirt off his brother barged though the door. Loki turned around quickly before violently pointing for Thor to leave.

"I am sorry, brother! I didn't mean to intrude on you. I was just hoping you were doing well...I wanted to make sure you were alright." Thor said quickly before turning away from the Loki. "But brother...I couldn't help but notice you are bruised almost everywhere...did that occur from the fight?"

Loki sighed and put his shirt on before sitting on his bed again. He nodded at Thor and then motioned for him to leave again, wanting to be alone at this moment.

Thor began to move to leave before he turned around and said, "Well, brother...if you need anything just ca-" he stopped talking just as he realized his brother could not call, yell, even talk.

Loki looked at Thor with fury written on his face. He once again pointed out the door demanding Thor to leave. But before he could leave Loki started coughing violently. He made a very distorted sputtering sound before more blood poured out of his mouth. He continued coughing before he was covering his mouth to try and keep the blood from soiling his sheets. Thor was at his side with a towel and Loki quickly grabbed it and putting it up to his mouth, covering it with blood. He eventually stopped coughing and wiped the blood from his face, but it was useless. Blood was covering his arms, face and even some blood got on Thor. Loki turned to Thor before coughing one last time, blood spilling out of the holes in his mouth and through his lips. He realized he was slowly choking on his own blood.

Loki soon calmed his breathing and stopped coughing. He simply laid down, to exhausted, emotionally and physically, to tell his brother to leave or to clean the blood off himself. He just laid on his bed for a couple minutes staring out of one of his large windows. He could see most of Asgard from there. Oh how he hated the place. The place that had put him though all his pain, suffering, and most of all...humiliation. How humiliated he was that he could not defeat the humans, he couldn't rule Asgard and he couldn't even make Odin the least bit proud of him. He was a failure, and all of Asgard knew it.

Thor had not yet left Loki's side. He was afraid his brother would have another coughing fit, or he might eventually need him. But most of all, Thor needed Loki right now. He needed to know he was still the brother he once knew. He wanted to know why he had let go at the Bifrost...why he had done everything. But Loki could not tell him now, for he was silenced.

Thor heard Loki's breathing become deep and shallow, he figured he had fallen asleep. He slowly and quietly got off of Loki's bed and found a clean towel. He wet the towel in a basin of water and crept over to his brother, slowly cleaning the blood of of his face and arms. There were large cuts all over Loki's arms and bruises were surrounding them. He felt immense regret engulf him as he remembered how violently he had fought his brother.

Once most of the blood was off of his brother Thor sat against the wall closest to Loki's bed. He wanted to watch over him, but he also missed him. He had forgotten how defined Loki's jaw was, and how his long eyelashes shielded his vibrant green eyes. He thought Loki was beautiful. So Thor sat at the edge of Loki's bed, staring at his brother until he felt himself drifting into sleep.

"Goodnight brother, I am sorry." Thor whispered as he silently waled out of Loki's room to return to his own.

-

Loki woke up from the sunlight flooding his room, his body ached and his mouth was bruised and swollen. He turned over, not wanting to wake up yet and tried to fall back asleep.

"BROOOOOOOOOTHER!"

And that is when Loki was rudly interupted by Thor. He covered his face with a pillow and grunted, only causing a muffled sound and pain to his sewn lips. He waved his hand dismissing Thor from his presence, but he did not leave.

"Do you not wish to see the recent happanings in Asgard? See what you have missed?" Thor said excitedly, hoping to get his brother out of his room for once. Loki just grunted again and rolled over, completly ignoring his brother. "Oh, well. If you change your mind brother, come find me!" Thor scurried out of Loki's room quietly shutting the door beind him.

After awhile of trying to fall asleep again Loki sat up, his room was much lighter than it was before, but it was just as dirty. He liked it that way, it seemed more at home. If he could feel at home in the forign place of Asgard. He knew he didn't belong. He attempted to get up out of his bed, only to fall back onto the bed. His body was weak and in a massive amount of pain. He struggled to his feet eventually, and he stumpled his way to the wash basin and mirror. This was the first time Loki had seen himself after he got his stiches. He was horrified.

All he saw were his tired green eyes at first, but then his attention went to the stiches. They were dark brown, but tinted red from all the blood. His face was overrun with blood and bruises and it was hard for him to move his mouth. The string was much thinker than he had first thought, it was about the size of a small worm. He slowly touched his lips then the stiches, almost in disbeleif. As he touched the holes he winced in pain, they were swollen and red. He would have much prefered the gag over this.

After awhile of looking at the new addition to his body Loki washed his body of all the blood that was on it. He realized it was much less than he expected, but he decided it was from the blood seeping into his other attire and his bed. Once he tried to clean around his lips but could not bear the pain of something disturbing the thread. He would have to wait till it was somewhat healed before the could properly clean his mouth.

He stumbled back into his room and used his remaining strength to heal the cuts and bruises scattered thoughout his body, after this he dressed in his normal- clean attire and sat on the windowsil looking out to Asgard. Although he hated it, he also missed his old home of Asgard.

-

Ahh, thanks for some support guys. I don't know if I'm going to continue this. You should tell me if I should!


	3. Chapter 3

Loki got up from looking at the landscape of Asgard, much more time had gone by than he thought. He had been admiring the view, and lost in his thoughts for the most of three hours. When he turned around he realized he face was wet- he had been crying. Loki quickly wiped his face and sat on his bed staring at the sheets and fur. He traced the stains of blood on his sheets with his fingers and collapsed back onto his bed. He was exhausted and he hadn't done anything today.

Before he knew it Loki had fallen into a deep rest, dreaming of what his life would be like if he hadn't done all the things he had done. If his father- or maybe brother saw that he was suffering. He thought what would of happened if he had never let go of his brother on the bifrost. What his life would be like. But he knew somewhere in his mind that all of this had to happen, there was no other way. But soon his dream turned dark as he began to remember free falling through space, only his magic to sustain his life. How scared he was that he would die out there- even if he wanted to.

Loki then quickly woke up, returning to the real world from his nightmare. He wanted to cry, yell out, scream for someone to tell him he was fine but nobody was there, and he couldn't. He was trapped inside his own mind, and he wanted to get out. He began crying- sobbing. Crying until he was choking from lack of air, but the tears wouldn't stop. Be began ripping at the stitches closing his lips together causing blood to stream down his face and blood filling his mouth. The pain was agonizing, but he enjoyed it at the same time. It was something he could control, he was dominant for once in his life. He crawled onto the floor and continued to cry, crying into his arms to mute his sobs. He didn't want anybody to know he was this fragile, this vulnerable.

"Brother?" Loki heard Thor from outside his room, he quickly silenced himself and stayed where he was hoping Thor would get bored and leave. But he did not. He heard his door open and his Thor called once again, "Brother, I have come to see that you are well. Will you come out?" Thor sounded very worried, almost distressed. "Please brother, I have been outside of your room for almost twenty minutes. Let me help you."

And with that Loki quickly shot up from the stop he was hiding, blood running down his face and his hair a mess. He threw the closest thing he could find at Thor- a bottle of ink. But Thor quickly moved out of the way and the ink splattered onto his wall with broken glass spilling everywhere. Loki let out an audible sound of anger and collapsed back down to where he was sitting.

"Brother, let me help you! I know you are upset. Just- I want to help." Thor was now pleading to his brother. He walked over to Loki and cupped his face, "Why are you doing this to yourself brother?"

Loki quickly slapped Thor's hand away and looked down, hot tears forming in his eyes. After a few minutes of silence Loki broke down into a crying mess, his cries were distorted and muffled by the stitches and he couldn't breathe well, but he just kept crying. Thor grabbed Loki's head and rested in on his chest. Loki clutched onto Thor's back sobbing into Thor's shirt and bleeding all over it. Thor stroked Loki's hair while keeping him from collapsing. He looked down to his brother and sighed, he knew that it would be a long while before Loki was normal again.

After what seemed like an hour of Loki crying loudly into Thor's chest he finally calmed down and rested. He had fallen asleep in his brother's lap to be exact. Thor didn't mind, he actually enjoyed this. It reminded him of when Loki would sit in Thor's lap and read until he fell asleep, but this time it was much more grim. He carefully picked up his brother, not that it was very hard for the strong god, and lightly placed him on his bed and exited the room. He knew Loki would be upset if Thor was there when he woke up. When Thor Exited Loki's room he was surprised to be greeted by Sif and the Warriors Three.

"Friends, what brings you to my brother's quarters?" Thor inquired with a cheery smile.

"Thor, are you alright? There is blood covering your shirt." Sif was the first to speak up before continuing, "And we couldn't find you so we figured you would be here. Has Loki hurt you?"

Thor looked to his shirt and frowned, "I am fine, Loki did nothing. He was bleeding and I used my shirt to clean up the blood." Thor said, obviously not telling the whole story.

"Oh, alright." Sif said, "Well follow us, we have something to show you."

-

Loki had woken up not thirty minutes after Thor left, his head was pounding and his eyes were red and swollen. He was upset with himself, upset that he had let Thor see him like that, and upset that he had accepted Thor's help. He didn't need help from that idiot, he could manage himself. Loki wearily walked over to the wash basin again and wiped his face clean of blood. He had become more use to the sight of him with his new punishment. He brushed out his messy hair and resumed trying to clean his face of all blood. It was no use. It seemed his face was stained pink from all the dried blood.

He then began to inspect the holes where the string was laced through, they were swollen, torn and bloody. He remembered him pulling on the strings and how much it hurt, he also remembered how much he liked the pain. Loki slowly moved a quivering hand to his mouth and began prying on the stitches again. He fell to the ground in agony and he began crying again. After awhile of pulling at the stitches he gave up and sat on the cold floor of his bathroom. He then saw the scattered glass on the ground of his room. This gave him an idea. He crawled to the glass and picked up a gagged piece. He sat staring at the glass for a few moments before he brought the glass to his mouth, but as the glass touched his lips there was an agonizing freezing sensation that didn't allow him to move the glass any further. Odin had cured the string so he could not remove it.

This angered Loki, his face became flushed and now angry tears were falling down his cheeks- how could Odin do this? Was Loki really that much of a disgrace to Odin? Loki looked at the glass for a few moments before plunging the piece deep into his arm. He felt alive- in control. He seemed to enjoy it. He removed the glass and deeply cut his arm a few more times until he couldn't take the pain any longer. His arm was now full of long, deep, jagged cuts. Loki smiled and walked to the bathroom to clean himself up once again. He was finally in control of something- his own pain.

-  
Sorry for the wait and the short chapter. ^^;

Also, if you guys don't like where the story is going...sorry! D:


	4. Chapter 4

Loki hadn't gotten much better in the last few days, it began to be hard to hide his injuries from his Brother. Thor had became alittle more frequent with his visits and he had began to wonder why Loki was wearing long sleeves all the time. Loki had also began to lock his door on occasion. It also seemed like Loki's stitches were not getting better, and he had been pale and tired. Thor began to see changes in Loki's mood too, he had become more calm, but he was jumpy. He didn't seem very stable and he was crying quite often. Over all he was weak and fragile. Not letting Thor come close for even a hug.

"Loki, how have you been?" Thor had gotten into the habit of talking to his brother now, even if he couldn't respond. Sometimes Loki would try to tell Thor something through actions. Loki also started writing Thor letters of books and things he wanted from the library. Loki had still refused to leave his room but at least he had been more open with Thor. Even though Thor was worried something was wrong.

Loki looked to Thor after he asked this question. He had been resting in his bed while rubbing his finger over his injuries. He tried to convince Thor that he was getting better, and that he was adjusting well. So far it had been a failed attempt. Sometimes Thor would refuse to leave Loki's room for the night, or he would stay with him all day, only letting him alone to go to the bathroom. Loki had been developing needs to harm himself, and sometimes when Thor was distracted he would finger his stitches, making them bleed and stretch.

After a moment of silence Loki nodded his head hoping it would signal to Thor that he was alright. It seemed to get the message across and Thor smiles and continued to say, "You know, father and mother really miss you, brother. Do you think you could go and visit them for a brief moment? I could join you."

Loki just glared at his brother for this request, Thor knew Loki wouldn't want to see them. Why did he even bother asking? Or maybe it would convince Thor that Loki was really getting better. So Loki nodded his head and pointed to Thor then himself.

"Oh thank you brother! You and I can visit them today. I'll leave you to get ready and I'll come to get you in not a minute past 30." Thor exclaimed and quickly exited Loki's room. After a few minutes Thor came back to Loki's room to tell him to get him if he needed anything. Loki knew it was just Thor making sure Loki hadn't done anything by now. Loki nodded and his brother left for good this time, and Loki used his magic to lock the door.

Loki walked to his bathroom and looked at himself, he defiantly seemed paler. But nothing else seemed weird. He quickly took a shower and slicked his hair back to his usual style. He Looked to his arm, it was red and swollen. There were not large gashes and cuts covering his lower and upper arm. Loki then continued to get ready, making sure his stitches looked somewhat normal- not that his father would care if they were infected. Then he got dressed in one of his nicer long sleeved shirts, with his regular trousers. Loki looked at himself in the mirror for awhile, looking at himself. How much he depleted over the years. Only a few years ago he was glowing with power, even though he was corrupted he wasn't as weak as he was now. He is now vulnerable and alone. A cast out of Asgard and the Frost Giants. He didn't belong anywhere. He will never belong.

As Loki was looking at himself, judging how he was he didn't notice Thor had entered the room. He had a very worried look about him, and he quickly said, "Are you alright brother? You've been standing there for almost 2 minutes." Loki quickly nodded and signaled out the door so they could depart.

Thor got the message and took the lead to the Throne Room. As they were walking Thor couldn't help but notice all the people staring at him, but then he realized something. They were not staring at himself, they were staring at Loki. He looked back to Loki who was walking through the halls his head tilted down, not making eye contact with anyone they passed. He knew they were talking if him, and he didn't want to deal with the shame. Thor now realized why Loki had been hiding in his room.

They eventually reached the Throne Room after a long, silent walk. Thor had to walk slowly to have Loki keep up with him, and even then Loki seemed like he was struggling. He staggered a few times throughout the walk and he occasionally stopped and had to catch his breath. Thor just assumed it was because Loki couldn't breathe properly through the stitches. Thor looked to the guards who lead them to Frigga and Odin, who seemed to be expecting their arrival.

"Thor, my son. What brings you and Loki to us today?" Odin boomed out, in his stern voice.

"I just thought you and mother might want to see him," Thor said, "and how he was doing."

Frigga looked to Odin who nodded to her. She then looked to Thor then to Loki, who was trying to catch his breath while he thought nobody was looking. She was worried that he was exhausted- he looked so thin and pale. "Loki, are you well? You seem very slim, my son."

Loki looked to Thor who nodded, "I have been taking Loki his nutrients, and he has been drinking them. He can't eat solids, so maybe that is why he is slim."

Frigga looked to Thor and then Loki, she had tears in her eyes as she looked away and Odin stepped in. "It has been good of you to visit us, Loki. But I must ask you to leave now."

Thor lead Loki out of the room and began to help him back to his room. Loki was struggling even more to walk now, and he almost fell multiple times. Thor had to frequently look back to Loki to see if he was doing alright. Eventually Loki fell to the ground almost 5 feet outside of his bedroom. Thor ran to his brothers side but Loki shit him away with a bolt of magic. Loki pointed down the hall, clearly trying to make Thor leave. But Thor wouldn't move. He simply stood where he was flinged to, and stared at his brother. Loki eventually got to his feet and fled to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him. He was collapsed behind his door, drifting in and out of contentiousness. He finally passed out to the sound of Thor pounding on his door and yelling his brother's name.

When Loki came about he was surprised to find he was still alone and resting by his door. But this was also to his relief. He slowly sat up and let out a large moan. He body was stiff and sore, and he was unable to stand up. He simply crawled over to his bed and hoisted himself onto it. Once he was on his bed he fell into a deep sleep quickly. He had been exhausted from walking all day, he had a pounding headache and he was hating Thor more than usual. He wanted to be alone for now.

Okay guys, another chapter down. I'm a writing machine right now. I love angsty Loki. 3


	5. Chapter 5

"Loki! Brother, please. Open the door! What is wrong?" Thor had been pounding on Loki's door for a solid ten minutes. "Brother please! Open the door! I will break down the door if I have to!" Thor stopped pounding on the door for a moment to hear what sounded like Loki sobbing. This took Thor by surprise, he thought Loki was just being stubborn, but there was something really wrong with him. Thor sat down outside the door, giving up the fight to get through to Loki and just began talking to him. "Brother, I know you are in pain. I am truly sorry for what has happened to you. I just wish you would let me help you." After this Thor heard nothing, he didn't even hear Loki's sobs. He sat in an unbearable silence for what seemed to be hours, but it was only a few moments. Then the sound of Loki's door unlocking filled the hallway. Thor quickly got up and rushed into Loki's room to find Loki resting on his bed reading a book. His eyes were bloodshot, but there was no other signs of him crying.

Loki looked up to Thor, smiling at him before continuing to read the book in his hands. Thor just looked at Loki dumbstruck.

"Uh, brother? Are you alright? Did I not hear you in distress earlier?" Thor inquired before sitting on the edge of Loki's bed.

Loki simply nodded before returning to his book, he really didn't feel like having Thor in his presence currently.

"I- am. Uh. Sorry about earlier brother. I didn't expect father to do what he did." Thor began, but before he could finish Loki had shot up out of hid bed and walked to the door. Thor sighed and stood up, "Why are you ignoring me, brother? What have I done?" Loki pointed out into the hall, signaling that he wanted Thor gone. "Brother please." Loki then held his head in his hands and pointed out of the door again. Thor agreed to leave him just this once.

-

Loki was now let to himself, with nobody to bother him. Once he was sure Thor was gone he broke down to a little ball of crying-loki on his bed. He had never felt so abandoned. Odin shunned Loki out of his sight, and Frigga couldn't bear to look at him. He was really the monster everyone talked of. He didn't belong. He was just a burden on everyone, especially Thor. With that Loki pulled up enough strength to walk to the door and lock it, then walk to the bathroom and lock that door. He sat in the corner of his shower looking at the designs of the tiles for a long while before taking off his shirt. His whole left arm was a mess of raw, bloody, and large cuts. He ran his finger along his arm, causing each cut to burn. He seethed in pain before removing a sharp, small knife from his pocket. Without thinking he ran the blade deeply across his right arm, once, twice, then so many times he lost count. He continued to do this, sobbing from the pain, but also from the joy this brought him. Everything he couldn't communicate to others was not plainly written on his body- he was suffering.

Soon Loki dropped the knife next to him in the shower. His arm was pouring blood and all of the shower was splattered with blood. Loki wearily stood up and removed his remaining clothes before taking a shower to clean the blood from the area. There was nothing going through his mind at this moment in time, he was at peace for once. His arm was still heavily bleeding, and the blood was mixing with the water creating a light pink pool of water. Once Loki felt he was clean enough he exited the shower and wrapped his arm with medical tape, to keep the wounds from bleeding all over his clothing. He quickly got dressed and styled his hair before exiting the bathroom to find Thor sitting on his bed, a worried look written on his face.

"Brother, I was wondering where you were. I came here awhile ago to find your door locked. I luckily found a key and entered to find you were taking a shower. But you were in there for awhile, are you alright?" Thor seemed to be pressing Loki with millions of questions at once. Loki really only wanted to be alone currently. Loki turned away from Thor and held his head in one hand, he was already developing a pounding headache from Thor pestering him.

Thor looked to Loki, worried and concerned. "Brother? Are you alright?"

Loki then for the first time turned round quickly and attempted to yell something, suprisingly Thor could make out through his horse, muffled cries, "Thor, I am fine. LEAVE!"

Thor stared at Loki for a moment before seeing that Loki was now heavily bleeding from his mouth. Thor wanted to help his brother but found it to be wiser to leave. Thor got up and swiftly walked out his room and down the hall, still surprised by the scene that had just taken pace. He walked out to the courtyard and began walking through the city, trying to calm his mind.

-

Loki was not more anxious than we was earlier, did he really just talk? Wait, no. Yell. He just yelled. He reached up to his stitches and began pulling at the string, more and more blood streamed down his face until he was choking and drowning in his own blood. His mouth was a mixture of purple and yellows. His fingers became red and sore from the strings cutting his fingers. There was blood covering his wall now, and he was unable to breathe from crying.

Loki fell to knees, gasping for air spurting out blood with each cry. After awhile of this he got on all fours and then he became a quivering ball on the floor. He, for once in his life, wanted Thor there to help him.

-

Sorry for spamming my shitty writing. XD So, tell me if you guys are getting sick of all the blood and stuff. Till next time 3


	6. Chapter 6

Thor had a panic stricken over him, he knew that Loki was going to do something bad, but he didn't know what. Thor stopped in his tracks when he thought of the time he had found Loki bleeding from his mouth, and how he needed Thor to hold him. Thor remembered how he had difficulty breathing and Thor needed to hold him up to open his airways. So many worried were going around in his head. Suddenly Thor turned around and began to run back to Loki full-speed. Thor heard an agonizing cry as he was nearing Loki's room. Thor didn't even slow down to open the door, he slammed through the door to find a broken looking Loki shaking on the floor.

"Brother!" Thor yelled, "What have you done to yourself? Loki?" Thor paused for a response but Loki said nothing, he only continued sobbing on the ground. Thor knelt to his brother and picked him up. Holding him close to himself. From what Thor could see Loki had been pulling at the stitches that bound his mouth together. Thor sighed and felt tears form in his eyes, but he knew it was not his time for crying. It was his brothers.

"Loki...why have you done this? What is wrong?" Thor whispered to Loki before sitting down and holding Loki to himself. Loki was sobbing quietly into Thor's shoulder. He was shaking violently and he dug his nails into Thor's back. Thor just sat and stroked Loki's hair, slowly hushing him.

"Brother, is it alright if I carry you to mother and father?" Thor said after he sat with Loki for almost thirty minutes. Loki simply nodded his head and continued crying into Thor. Thor's shirt was now covered with tears and blood. Thor didn't mind though. He knew Loki needed someone, and he was prepared to be it. Thor slowly stood up, carrying Loki like a princess. But Loki just clung onto Thor tighter, and he kept sobbing.

Thor began swiftly walking through the bright halls of Asgard, almost completely on auto-pilot. Many people stared at the brothers while Thor swiftly and quietly hurried to the throne room. A guard already heard of Thor coming and opened the door as soon as he saw Thor. He entered the room and looked up at his father. Odin had an unfamiliar look of confusion on his face and Frigga was already rushing to Thor's side.

"What brings you here my son? Who are you holding?" Odin inquired, staring down at his son like he was an alien.

"I am holding your son father! This is Loki!" Thor yelled to his father with surprising anger in his voice. "Don't tell me you have already forgotten him! You basically cast him aside to suffer on his own!" Thor passed Loki to Frigga who instantly fell to the ground with him when she saw him. She was sobbing while cradling Loki. "I found Loki in his room in a pool of his own blood. He is trying desperately to get your attention but you're tossing him aside." Thor was now screaming at his father, a layer of storm clouds went over Asgard.

"My son, where do you get these ideas? I doubt Loki feels this way." Odin was going to continue with this thought but he was silenced by a loud scream from Frigga. Thor looked over to see she had pulled up Loki's sleeve to reveal the bloody medical tape over his large cuts. Thor was instantly at Loki's side removing the sopping, bloody bandages from his arm. Tears where now flowing freely across his face and there was one free tear on Odin's cheek.

"Brother..." Thor's voice cracked, but he continued, "W-Who did this to you? Did you do this?" Loki simply nodded his head and sat up quickly, tossing Thor aside and lightly separating from Frigga. Loki looked sadly up to Odin and then disappeared from the room in a cloud of green smoke. Leaving Thor, Frigga, and Odin to talk of this evenings happenings.

-

Thor found Loki in his room, but there was a barrier surrounding it. Thor put a hand to the shimmering blue transparent wall. It was cool to the touch, and it stretchy, but it wouldn't break. Thor looked into the wall and saw Loki sleeping on his couch, he had cleaned his floor and wall of blood and healed some of his face. He looked peaceful, he didn't have the worried, in pain look he usually had. He looked somewhat blissful. Thor stood staring into Loki's room for awhile, lost in his thoughts and questions. Eventually he sat down and fell asleep in the hall leading to Loki's room. Thor could swear he heard a shuffling in Loki's room, when he looked in Loki was in the last place Thor had seen him. Due to this Thor fell back to sleep outside of Loki's room.

Loki woke up to see Thor outside of his room, he was thankful Thor couldn't penetrate his sorry excuse for a barrier. He stirred once or twice before creeping his way to the bathroom, even though Thor now new of Loki's 'problem' Loki didn't care. He stopped caring about his family's feelings toward him long ago. He had become self-sufficient, self-providing. He didn't need his 'family' anymore. He had made his way to the bathroom and locked the door if Thor did somehow make it through his barrier.

Loki sat in the bathroom for a long while before he looked out of the window of his bathroom, the nighttime was beautiful, he enjoyed it much more than when it was bright and blinding. The night was always cool and dark, something Loki often enjoyed. Loki shuffled around his bathroom before finding all of the sharp things had been taken away. Loki found a hand-held mirror and broke it with a cloth over it, muffling the sound. Loki then took one of the larger broken pieces and deeply cut into both of his arms, and now on his thighs, running out of places to cut on his arm.

This was the only relief Loki had gotten all day, he finally felt like he was finally alive. Loki stopped the blood from going everywhere by blotting his cuts with a towel, and once again he wrapped all of his injuries with medical tape. Once he was finished with this he crept to where he was resting before and rested in the exact same position he was before. He heard Thor look into the room not long after that, and he was thankful Thor didn't suspect anything.

Loki then fell into another uneasy sleep, dreaming of his past failures, and his winnings. He thought of his old relationship with all of Asgard. He stirred in his sleep many times, and he frequently woke up sweat covering his face. Loki had always had nightmares, but not this bad. These nightmares were very real, and he usually wouldn't wake up from them. But he didn't know if his life was much better than his dreams.

-

I don't really know where to go with this...But thanks for the support! There might only be one or two more chapters. 3 Sofi


	7. Chapter 7

When Loki awoke his room was flooded with light, it blinded him for a few seconds before his eyes adjusted. Loki saw Thor was sitting outside his room still, sometimes peering into the hole in the wall that use to be a door. As Loki slowly sat up he was caught by surprise by his brother.

"Loki!" Thor said, pure glee filled his voice, "You're awake. You haven't woken in two days brother." He quickly stood up, his face now more serious, "Now please take this barrier down, I wish to speak with you. We should also get you checked out to see if you're okay. It's not normal to sleep for two days."

Loki simply stared at his brother for a few moments, these words had caught him by surprise. He didn't realize he had slept so long, it had felt like a two hour nap at the most. He broke his gaze from his brother before attempting to stand up. He stood up and balanced for about thirty seconds before dropping to his knees, this Also caught Loki by surprise. He heard his brother call his name before he coughed once again and his vision was becoming black. He got rid of the barrier before he was unconscious. The last thing he saw was his brother running to his side.

Thor had a million thoughts running around in his head. He didn't know what was wrong with his brother but he wanted to help him. Thor also knew he would have a talk with Odin once he knew he brother was alright, and stable. Until then he wouldn't leave his side. Thor gingerly picked up Loki before cradling him close to his body, then he started to run. He ran the whole way to the healing rooms. Once he got there the nurses rushed to Thor taking Loki from his arms, a few of them took him back into a room. Thor was talking to one of the head nurses about what happened in the last days.

"I remember Me taking Loki to Father and then him leaving to his room. Once I got there I was blocked off by a magic barrier, then he slept for 2 days and three knights. When he woke up he tried to stand but he fell and passes out, that's all I know." Once he was done talking to the nurse he rushed to the room the other nurses took him. When he saw Loki he was horrified. Loki was so thin you could see his ribcage peeking out from beneath his skin. The color of his skin was a grey shade of white except for his arms and upper thighs, they were covered with scars and cuts in the deepest reds to light pinks. He also noticed Loki's nails have been chewed down to stubs and his hair was dull and lifeless. Loki looked like the ghost of himself.

"Prince Thor, do you know how all of these injuries happened?" A beautiful red haired nurse asked.

Thor paused for a moment, debating wither he should tell her or not. He eventually thought her to be trustworthy and told her, "My brother has done this to himself miss." Thor was monotone and broken looking. He loved his brother, and didn't like to see him suffer.

The nurse stared at him for a moment before going to the other side of the room to get some supplies. Thor sat watching every moment, making sure nothing bad happened to his brother. The team of nurses worked disinfecting Loki's wounds before sewing some shut to ensure healthy healing. Once they were done with that they wrapped his injuries in medical tape and gauze. Then they focused their attention to his weight, they figured he was starving due to him being unable to eat. They cleaned and fixed his stitches before giving him an IV so he would become hydrated and get nutrients. The head nurse checked all of their work before dismissing them, and telling Thor Loki was stable and well. After this news Thor hurried out to have a word with his father, one he didn't know how Odin would handle.

-

Loki had once again woken up to a brightly lit room, but this time he smelt anesthetic, not blood. He looked up, and found himself staring at just another unfamiliar ceiling. He fad woken up to many of these throughout his life. His arms were burning and tight, he looked down to see them covered with gauze and medical tape. His thoughts were groggy and slow, and his breathing was irregular, but his life was no longer in danger. Loki sighed and closed his eyes again before he heard yelling down the hall, it was Thor. He then heard and angry sounding Odin and a sobbing Frigga. Guilt fell over Loki, he didn't want this to happen, he didn't want to be more of a burden. He thought if he suffered alone he wouldn't bother them, but it was now occurring to him that he was going more harm than good. Loki turned to his side and lets small tears flow down his face, he couldn't do anything right. He couldn't even figure out to get out of the picture.

Loki heard the door open and light footsteps walking to him, he chose to ignore this and pretend to sleep. He didn't want to interact with anybody, especially his brother. But instead of his brother he smelt the light, comforting smell of Frigga. Loki quickly opened his eyes and looked up to see his mother crying over him. First he just stared at her, then he moved a hair out of her face, causing her to jump back.

"L-Loki, forgive me. Did I wake you?" Frigga struggled to say through her sobs. Loki shook he head and took her hand, letting a few more tears fall from his face. Frigga fell to her knees and held Loki's hands in hers. "Loki, my son. I love you so much, don't you ever forget that, okay?" She looked at Loki and fixed his hair, saying again. "Don't ever forget how much we love you." Loki was now sobbing, Frigga had pulled her son into a comforting embrace, holding him close. He then heard more footsteps coming to the room, Frigga quickly pulled away drying her eyes. Thor and Odin entered, Thor running to his brother, Odin standing next to the door.

"Loki, how are you?" Thor said quietly as he sat next to his brother on his bed. "You really worried me there earlier" Loki now saw tears forming in Thor's eyes. Loki looked away not wanting to see his brother cry. Then Odin spoke up.

"Loki. You have caused suffering to your brother and mother." Thor began scolding Loki before stopping to think of what to say next, "I did not think of you as selfish. I am disappointed." Frigga looked to Odin, disbelief in her eyes, and Thor was quickly very close to Odin, speaking his mind freely now.

"How dare you say that to him! Loki is obviously not well, and you are to blame! How could you say that to your own son?" Thor yelled to Odin, making Loki's ears ring.

Then Odin spoke, he only said eight words, but those eight words tore Loki apart. Loki finally knew he no longer had a place in the world, he was cast out and set aside by everyone. Odin said, "He is not my son, he never was."

There was an odd silence in the room, the only sound hears was Frigga's sobs. Thor looked to Loki, and knew something was wrong by the look on his face. Loki was crushed, broken. His eyes were misty, but he refused to cry. He only sat in silence before he disappeared in another cloud of green smoke.

-

Sorry for the wait! Till next time, Sofi. 3


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone in the room fell silent, they all knew that the situation had just gone from bad to worse. Thor saw the smallest amount of regret in Odin's face before he called for Thor; "Thor, my son, please go find Loki." Odin said and walked out of the room swiftly.

Frigga then motioned for Thor to come to her side, he came and she spoke quietly. "Thor, please go find your brother" Frigga paused, calming herself and continuing, "Make sure he does not...hurt himself. Go."

Thor stared at his mother before nodding and running out of the room. He started surveying the land of Asgard. First the main castle, searching each room, the Throne room to the smallest closet. After he was sure his brother was not there he went to the main city to search, moving as fast as possible.

Thor had ran through the city almost three times before he began to think of the forests. He knew the forests were cold and dangerous at night, and in Loki's weakened position he wouldn't last long. This caused Thor to fret, now getting on the nearest horse and riding off to the damp forests, he counted every moment, and he prayed his brother was well.

"Loki..." Thor said to himself, "Please stay strong brother. I swear, I fill find you."

Loki had fallen to the ground, dizzy and faint. He had no idea where he had ended up, all he knew is the ground was muddy and wet and he was surrounded by trees. He slowly stood up, his knees failing him a few times before he stood up fully. Now out of breath Loki leaned against a large tree, gasping for air.

Loki's eyes slowly adjusted to the dark after awhile of him looking around blindly. He saw the landscape develop around him. He was surrounded by large greed weeping willow trees. The stars brightly shown through the trees. He then heard a rush of water coming from a close river. The cold finally came to Loki and he began shivering, hugging himself for warmth. He knew if he wasn't found he would soon pass out. After that Loki only assumed death would come to him, that was his hope.

At the brink of sleep he heard a rustle near where he sit, he looked around and was eventually blinded by two large bright lights. Loki knew of nothing on Asgard that would make a light similar to that...the only place that mad lights like that was Midgard. Then it hit him, he knew the feeling of this place felt different. It was heavy and solid, not like the clean, light air of Asgard. He silently cursed to himself, knowing this had been a grave mistake. He slowly stood up, backing away from the light trying to mix with the trees around him, but he was eventually found.

"Don't be afraid, come out. We mean you no harm." A familiar voice said. Loki pressed his mind until it hit him, this was one of the people he had fought once. It was one of the Avengers. Loki knew he was in no physical shape to fight, let alone run. He just sat in a ball, covering his face from the approaching mortal. Then he felt a light hand on his back, it hurt. It burnt. He let out a single muffled whimper before the hand was removed. Loki quivered before he felt himself being picked up and carried, he covered his face, but did not struggle. He eventually passed out.

Loki woke but he did not move, he didn't even open his eyes. He didn't want to know where he was, he wanted to be alone. He wanted to dissolve into nothing. Then he noticed how warm he was, and how little he hurt. He was comfortable for once in months. He let out a long sigh before he heard a door open. He quickly sat up, alittle too quickly he soon realized. His head pounded and his vision went blurry before he recovered.

"Finally you awake- wait...What the hell?" Loki saw Stark standing in the doorway, a drink in his hand and his face utterly horrified. "Wait...Loki? Don't you belong in Asgard?What are you doing here?" Tony stuttered out before he continued to stare at Loki. Loki simply shook his head, then fully looked at Tony before he heard him gasp. "You're lips...you can't...talk.

By now Loki had stood up, he was now holding himself up by the side of the bed. He was shaking visibly. Stark continued to stare until his eyes moved to Loki's arm. He sighed and looked down, shaking his head while doing so. "I'll call Thor."

Loki was now on the ground, he had fallen at the mention of Thor. Tony quickly turned around, seeing Loki on the ground. "You've really hit a low point, haven't you?" Tony said, rubbing his face sleepily. "Well, I don't have a clue what's going on, and you can't tell me. So I guess my only choice is to cut that string on your mouth...Even though I quite like it." Tony was now approaching Loki, a small pocket knife drawn from his pocket. Loki shuffled away, shaking his head wildly.

"Loki, Loki. Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." Tony said sternly. Loki stopped shaking his head and slowly removed his hand from his face. Tony approached him slowly, watching the fear in his eyes. Loki squeezed his eyes shut as he felt a pressure against the strings. His face grew tense and his lips stung icy and burning at the same time. There was blood streaming down his face now, but he refused to cry. There was a release of pressure as he heard the string break. Tony then started pulling the strings from his mouth, blood covering his hands now, and Loki was digging his nails into his arm, breaking the skin. The last string was removed and Tony stepped away. Loki brought his hand to his mouth, feeling the string gone, and the holes that remain. He quickly licked his lips before moving his jaw, trying to get it to sit right. There was a pop and Loki opened his eyes and licked his lips once again.

"Well" Loki tried to say but the words only came out as a crack from his throat followed by bloody coughing. When he recovered he sighed and attempted to talk again, this time succeeding. "Well," He whispered "It seems I have some explaining to do."

-

Sorry for the wait, sorry if you don't like where this is going. 3 Sofi.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki was very drunk by now, muttering senseless things to himself. Tony was sitting across the room, but now that Loki looked at it it seemed like Tony was staring at him.

"What is it Sssssstark" Loki slurred lazily, while trying to make himself comfortable on one of Tony's fancy couches.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Tony said smoothly, it almost seemed like he had dealt with this type of situation before. He hadn't even drank anything, which was weird. Loki grunted and coughed in response. "Well, I'm going to work in the Lab. Just call if you need anything, Jarvis will tell me."

"Tony..." Loki whispered almost inaudibly. "Can yo-" Loki cut off and sighed before turning over again. "Never mind, leave."

Tony turned to look at Loki, he was a mess. Covered in blood and scars, extremely skinny, and very undoubtedly drunk. "Why are you doing this to yourself? Not that I think you don't deserve it, but really." Tony asked while sitting down again.

Loki had shuffled a bit before finding another comfortable position. "I don't mea-" Loki coughed very violently before he continued his sentence, still talking very quietly "Do you have a blanket that I could borrow...I'm sorry I'm asking for so much." Loki was hugging himself on the couch by now, his head hidden from view.

Tony just stared at Loki, there were so many thoughts going through his head. He didn't understand why he was helping someone who had just tried to take over Earth, but he felt he needed to. A small voice came from behind the wall and blanket was thrown into the room. They then heard whoever gave the blanket to them swiftly run away. Tony picked it up and threw it over to Loki before taking the spot he was in before.

"Ah- uh. Thank you." Loki muttered quietly while wrapping himself with the blanket. He looked broken and lost, defenseless and hurt. But most of all he seemed scared. He had no idea how he had come to Stark Tower, much less end up on Midgard. There was a long but comfortable silence between them before Tony heard a sound from Loki. It was very muffled but it soon became clear that Loki was crying. He wasn't just crying- he was sobbing. Tony picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels and walked over to Loki, placing his arm around him and handing him the bottle.

"Don't touch me, Stark." Loki muttered as he took a few large gulps of the drink. Stark moved his hand to Loki's arm, Loki pulled back in response before looking at Tony.

"Why?" That was all Tony could say, he didn't know what else to say. "Loki, why are you doing this to yourself?"

Loki stared at Tony for a solid two minutes before he downed the rest of the Jack Daniels. He moved into a less awkward position and muttered, "Do you hate yourself, Stark?" The conversation ended there. Tony stood up and walked out of the room and Loki eventually passed out, drunk, lost and confused.

Loki awoke to an unfamiliar sent, it was bitter yet sweet and smooth. He slowly sat up before he was hit in the face. Not physically, but with a headache. He should of known this would happen, Loki was never able to consume alcohol well, and he drank quite a bit last night. He slowly laid back down on the uncomfortable couch. He drifted in and out of sleep, listing to Tony talk to a prominent female voice with a quiet, soft voice trying to add themselves to the conversation. Loki knew of Tony's woman slave thing Pepper, but he didn't know of anyone else living in the home. He heard a quiet slam followed by the quiet voice, but now in a stern tone, speaking very clearly to Tony and Pepper.

"I don't understand how you guys could even think of doing such a thing. When people are in trouble you don't just toss them out. Have you lost all your humanity?" The voice then stopped followed by a very large coughing fit. The coughs faded away slowly until Loki couldn't hear them at all

"I see you're awake." Tony said as he casually walked into the room. "You better not puke all over my shit." Loki simply groaned and closed his eyes. "Well, if you're going to stay in bed all day I might aswell move you somewhere more comfortable...and safe."

Tony then swiftly picked up Loki, causing his head to pound. "You naïve little shit!" Loki yelped out, "If you move me too quickly I'll puke on you."

Tony looked down to Loki and swiftly, but slowly, began walking to another room. Loki didn't know where they were going because the house was so large, but he didn't care. He didn't really care what happened in his life at this moment. He thought it better if he just die, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't do it to Thor, or Frigga. Odin would probably care less anyways.

"If you puke on me I'll drop you." Tony said simply. He entered a large room filled with windows and it seemed to be pure white. Tony Placed Loki on the large, circular bed in the room before putting all of the automatic shades down. He didn't hear Loki moving so he walked over to him to find he was in the exact same place he had been in before, he was motionless. Tony slowly covered Loki with the large, white comforter atop of him. He handed Loki a pillow and began to walk out of the room, wanting to leave him alone.

"Stark." Loki called out, barley a whisper. "Please don't get...Thor." After that Loki fell into another deep sleep, a sleep he thought he would never get when he was staying in Asgard.

-

Sorry for another short chapter. I'm real lazy. I'm adding a minor little OC in this, I hope you guys don't get mad. She won't get with anyone or anything. Yeah. Until next time, Sofi. 3


	10. Chapter 10

Not an hour went by when Loki was awoken by a violent coughing. Sometimes it sounded like someone was suffocating, and other times it was like someone was gagging up blood. And that's what Loki saw when he finally made his way to the kitchen in the large home, or tower, or whatever. There was a small woman with light blue skin and bright white hair being held up by Tony while she coughed out large amounts of blood. As soon as she saw Loki her eyes went wide and she vanished, leaving no trace that she was even there. Tony just sighed and looked up to Loki, and almost like he read his mind explained the situation.

"I have to keep this weird alien chick here under surveillance until we find something to do with her. She keeps coughing up a lung, we don't know what's wrong with her. We don't even know where she is from or what species she is." Tony shrugged before walking past Loki and going down the hall. "I told your brother you're here by the way, he sounded pissed."

"YOU DI-" Loki's voice failed him after the second work and the rest came out as a high-pitched squeak. He rubbed his throat and began to make his way back to the room Tony had left him. If Thor and him were going to have a conversation it was going to be alone.

"I am sorry." A small, low voice said from around the corner. "I did not wish for you to see that, and for that I am greatly sorry, King." She was now bowing to him on one knee.

Loki's eyebrows raised questionably. "I am not a King."

She looked up to Loki before continuing. "I greatly apologies if I am mistaken, but are you not Loki? Loki Laufeyson?"

Loki looked at her curiously, also slightly shocked. Nobody had called him Laufeyson in a very long while. "Yes, I am. But ,still, I am no King."

She then stood up, bowed simply and vanished again just like she did before.

Loki was now left to think about this woman who had just called him her king and how to deal with Thor. Not to mention that he was exhausted and he felt like he was going to puke any moment. As he was walking he saw all the random things and rooms scattered around where Tony lived. It wasn't much better than Thor's room. Loki let out a grunt of disgust when Thor crossed his mind, he really did not want to see him.

Loki had finally reached his room, as he entered he realized how large this room actually was. You could fit about 4 of Tony's circle beds in it, maybe more. Then he saw how bland it was, everything was wither Grey, Black, or White. Except for the sheets. Loki had bleed on the sheets while he was sleeping. He ran a finger over his arm and an overwhelming sensation came over him. He wanted pain, even though the stitches were gone he wanted more pain. He _needed_it.

Loki magically locked the door and walked over to the large bathroom the room had and he searched. He searched for anything- sharp, dull, glass, metal. Then he found it. He found an old straight razor, probably forgotten about and tossed away. He opened it to see that the blade was still new and sharp. He took off the shirt and pants Tony had given him to stay in so he would not spoil them. Then he took a minute to admire it before he slowly cut over the healing cuts on his arms and legs. He dug the razor into his skin and pulled it sharply, once, twice, again and again. He was creating large gashes on his legs now, his arms were too bloody to harm more. His skin splitting made him feel a sort of relief, and the blood was even more evidence of that. After a few more moments he dropped the razor and lifted himself up. There was now blood running down his legs and arms onto the floor, he would need to clean that up later. But for not he wriggled off his undergarments and hopped into the shower, cleaning himself up the best he could. He then rummaged around the bathroom and eventually found extra toilet paper. That would have to work to help calm the bleeding for now- until he could get other supplies. Loki tended to his wounds, put the long-sleeved ACDC shirt and baggy sweatpants on that Tony gave him and he slowly walked back into the large room. He slowly walked over to the bed and collapsed onto it ,unlocking the door and then, falling into a peaceful sleep.

Loki hadn't even heard when Tony had walked into the room. Tony quietly sneaked past Loki to go to the bathroom. The truth of the matter is Tony gave Loki his room for the time being until he figured out where to put him. But when he walked into the bathroom he knew that was a mistake. There was blood covering the floor and shower, along with the counter-tops and he saw his trust ol' straight razor on the counter aswell. He stared at the mess before he heard something behind him. He turned around to see a white faced Loki.

"I-I am sorry. I can clean this up. I'm very, very, very sorry." Loki looked like he was about to cry, he was shaking and holding onto the side of the door to keep from falling.

"Just go back to bed, I'll do it." Tony stepped closer to close the door when he heard Loki whisper something. He couldn't quite make it out but it was something close to 'mote mell Thor'.

Loki walked back over to the bed and curled into a ball in the middle, he let a few small tears stream down his face before he calmed down once again and fell asleep.

Tony was busy at work, bleaching the tiles, the shower, the counters, everything! And nothing was seeming to work. Was his blood different than normal blood? No, that's not possible. He kept thinking crazy thoughts while he cleaned up his enemies blood. His enemy. Loki, the God of Mischief was in his house, sleeping on his bed. Vulnerable and alone. Tony didn't know what he was doing anymore. But once he cleaned up all the blood he took a shower himself. After that he crawled into bed- his own bed. He soon fell asleep but he couldn't help but feel someone was in the room with him.

"STARK?"

"OH MY GOD, LOKI?"

"LOKI? MAN OF IORN, WHAT ARE YOU GOING WITH MY BROTHER?"

-  
Fassssssssssssst u[ppppadfa[dspofdates. I love you guys, even though I suck. This chapter was triggering to write. Blah. 3 Sofi

Hey, here is a poorly drawn picture of the new OC lady- #/d55aqoy


	11. Chapter 11

And at that very moment Loki considered suicide for the second time in his life, the first one being when he let go of Thor on the Bifrost. He thought that nothing was going to go right. Every single thing that happened to him seemed to end up badly. Maybe that's why he had been the villan. Who really knows.

Tony looked over to Loki who was just as dumbstruck as him. They both didn't know what to do or say. Thor seemed to come in at the worst possible time. Tony then sputtered out, "I stayed up late, I got oil on me so I came up here to take a shower. And uh- I left Loki in this room and I guess I forgot last night and fell asleep here." The lie flowed off seamlessly and Thor seemed to believe it. He physically relaxed then directed his attention to Loki.

"Brother! I have come to retrieve you. Are you ready to go?" Thor asked happily. Loki looked up to Thor with tears in his eyes. He slowly shook his head and muttered something. "Loki, what is it?"

"I cannot leave Thor." Loki whispered, Loki then stood up, his cuts and injuries being hidden by an illusion. He walked past Thor and out of the room. Thor looked to Tony who had the same perplexed expression as himself. The two walked out of the room following Loki into the living room. He walked to where Tony stored the alcohol and he got a drink of the closest thing.

"I feel like returning to Asgard would be a burden on my health, and everyone elses. I wish to stay here." Loki said simply while sitting down next to Thor. Tony had gotten and drink and sat across from the two brothers, not knowing what to say.

"But brother, Mother and Father are very worried about you." Thor said while reaching Loki's hand, but Loki pulled away instantly. "We are just worried for you Loki." Thor's voice was cracking and he was fighting back tears. "I love you brother."

Loki stared at Thor for a few seconds before the came about, he shook his head and smiled warmly. "I'm fine Thor, you need not worry for me." Thor looked to Loki and Loki responded with a nod, reassuring Thor that he was fine. Good thing Thor was easily tricked.

"I am glad, brother! We should dine at a Midgardian restaurant!" Thor said excitedly, standing up quickly.

"We don't have any currency, Thor." Loki explained quietly before Tony cut him off.

"I can pay, we should get you to eat something. You're quite thin."

So at that Tony got up and motioned for the brothers to follow him, they did so and soon found themselves in one of Tony's many fancy cars. Thor and Loki talked of random banter during the ride to the restaurant. Tony found Loki smoothly changed the topic from anything serious to a light subject. He really didn't seem to want to Thor about anything personal. Tony understood why.

"We're here." Tony said as they pulled into a large parking lot next to a very nice Asian restaurant. They all got out of the car and began the short stroll to the building. Thor was busy blabbering on about Asgard and his significant other in New Mexico to notice that Loki was struggling to keep up. He tripped over himself a couple of times before he fell to his knees. He was supporting himself by his arms to keep from falling on his face. Thor quickly got to his brothers side and tried to help him up before he was stopped by an angry Loki.

"Thor! Do not touch me, I do not require assistance!" Loki spat out before he got to his feet.

"Brother, please let me help you. Why did you not tell me you were unwell?" Thor asked sadly.

"I am fine Thor, let us go." Loki said as he began walking to the building again, now limping. Thor and Tony left him be, knowing that if they tried to help it would cause more of a problem. They got an isolated booth in the restaurant and chattered about nothing in particular. Thor and Loki didn't know what the food was so Tony ordered them things. Loki seemed to like the drink Coke while Thor was eating all of the food in his sight. Loki was eating too, but not much. He played around with his food and occasionally took a bite.

"Do you like the food Loki? We can get you something else." Tony asked with a mouth full of food.

"No this is fine, thank you." Loki said politely. "But if you'll excuse me, I have to use the restroom."

Tony leaded Loki to the restrooms and stood outside of the door, not wanting to invade the gods privacy. After a few minutes of Tony standing outside he got bored and walked up and down the hall. Almost seven or eight minutes had passed before Loki emerged from the bathroom. Tony noticed the looked paler than usual and his hands were shaking terribly.

"Are you alight? You were in there for awhile." Tony asked causiously.

"I am fine Stark, let's go back." Loki's voice was soft but rugged at the same time. He had to clear his throat frequently. Tony and Loki joined Thor again, who was still eating his fourth plate of food. Tony and Thor got caught up in conversation while Loki sat, watching and listening. He didn't touch his food once after the trip to the restroom.

Soon the meal was over and the trio were heading home, Thor was drunk and babbling on about random stuff while Tony and Loki sat silently, half listening to Thor. They reached Tony's house and he lent Thor the guest room he had been using. Loki had Tony's room and Tony was sleeping on the couch. It wasn't the first time he had to call the couch his bed. They all said goodnight to eachother and went their separate ways. Soon Tony and Thor were asleep, but Loki was doing something different. He was in the bathroom, curled into a corner of the shower. His wrists were pouring blood along with his legs and now face. He had cut his face in several places, all very deep.

"It's really a shame, doing that to a pretty face like yours." A voice called out. He knew this voice, it was the girl from earlier. The one who called him a king. She appeared next to him in the shower. She had bright yellow eyes covered by pure white hair. Long elf ears stuck from behind her hair and Grey horns sat oddly utop her head. She had facial designs just like a frost giant, but hers emitted a brilliant white light.

"What are you doing?" Loki muttered between sobs.

"The same thing you are, escaping." She whispered before taking the razor on the floor and plunging it deep into her arm. After a moment of silence she spoke, "I see why you like this."

-

I don't really have anything to say. I haven't edited this chapter or anything. I'm too lazy.  
Ugh. Well, I love you guys. Sofi.


	12. Chapter 12

The next thing Loki knew is that he was outside, and not remembering how he got there wasn't helping. A large flash of light went overhead, then his vision went black again.

-

Loki awoke in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar place. It took awhile for his eyes to adjust, but he was sure he was not on Asgard any longer. He tried to lift his hand, only to feel it being restrained. His throat was hot and dry, but he managed to utter one word before he went into a coughing fit. That thing was "Thor...?"

He heard frantic footsteps over to him, and then the large blonde Asgardian was by his side. Thor undid his arm and leg restraints and slowly helped prop Loki up in the bed. Thor then brought Loki a glass of water, and he drank it thankfully. Thor and Loki stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until Thor finally talked. "We are on Earth, brother." He stopped to look at Loki, who still remained emotionless. "We are going to stay at Stark Towers until we can find other arrangements, Remember?" Loki still remained silent. He only nodded and drifted back to sleep, but that didn't last long.

Loki woke up several times during the night, shaking, crying, even screaming from the nightmares that plauged him for as long as he could remember. Only these were much wore. In these dreams he did horrible things to both himself, and others around him. They wouldn't be so bad if he didn't feel every action that went on in the dreams. But Thor was always by his side to comfort him. Loki began to suspect Thor didn't ever leave the room.

This is how the next several days went, Thor began to talk to Loki, knowing he wouldn't answer. Thor hoped one day his brother would respond. Loki was becoming physically stronger, due to Thor bringing him meals, and watching him eat, and he was slowly healing himself.

Thor had left unexpectedly one day, telling Loki that he would return soon. Loki knew something was wrong, but he didn't dare ask. So when Loki was sure Thor was gone he struggled out of the bed he had spent the last two weeks in. His vision went blurry for a few moments before he grabbed onto the nearest object to keep himself up. Once he was sure he could stand he walked to the bathroom to look at himself. His hair was long and untamed, and he had a bit of stubble. He wasn't usually one to grow facial hair. He also noticed he looked heavier, his cheekbones were less pronounced and one wouldn't see his ribcage if he were to take off his shirt. He put that down to eating without moving for two weeks. It would go back to normal soon. Loki cleaned himself up, trimming his hair and shaving the unattractive stubble of his face. He looked more like himself, except for his figure. He couldn't stand looking at it. He felt disgusting. Then he noticed his arms, covered in bruises and cuts, the same in lengh , size and depth.

-

Thor soon returned from his absence, and he was quite startled to find Loki sitting in a chair, reading a book. He looked to his brother before a huge grin went across his face. "Brother! You can stand, and walk! This is great news! Would you like to go to dinner with The Avengers and I? I have talked to them, and they hold no grudge to you." Loki knew this wasn't entirely true, but he agreed anyways, just to make Thor happy. When they walked out the room together, everyone was staring. Thor looked at them nervously before pulling Loki into his arm protectively.

Steve was the first to talk, his intentions were well, but it was exactly the opposite of what Loki needed to hear. "So, uh...You look good. You're not so deathly thin now." Everyone else agreed before they filed into cars to the restaurant.

The meal was agonizingly awkward. Steve and Tony had no plans to hide their newly found relationship. Natasha and Clint sat next to each other silently, Clint giving Loki a very menacing gaze. Bruce was not present, he apparently didn't want to have anything to do with the avengers unless he was needed. They all ate in silence, except for Steve and Tony, who were giggling up a storm. When the meal was done everyone drove to Stark Tower for a drink or two. Loki decided to opt out of this activity to reduce the chance of an awkward situation. It sure helped. There was loud laughing echoing throughout the house. Loki knew they would all pass out before Thor would notice he was gone, so he jumped out the window to explore his new home.

By the time Loki returned he was exhausted, he had traveled the whole city, storing information about everything he deemed important. Everyone was passed out in Tony's living room except for one, Thor was nowhere to be found. So when Loki found a very angry Thor in his room, he was not surprised.

"Loki! Where have you been? I was very worried about you." Thor silently shouted to Loki, Loki simply shrugged and motioned for Thor to leave the room. Thor did not obey. "Brother! Answer me!"

Loki sighed before turning to his brother, his hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. Along with that his eyes were dull and lifeless. "I was out Thor, now let me be." With that Thor exited the room, seeing that Loki was in no mood to talk. Loki fell onto his bed almost instantly after Thor left , too exhausted to do anything else. But sleep did not come, he stared at the ceiling until he realized the birds were chirping outside. By then he was exhausted enough to sleep.


End file.
